Saturday, November 21, 2009

Loss & Gain

There's just been too much of it lately. Favorite employee of all time goes home. Other employee goes home with husband. Accepted offer means selling my home. Too much loss.

But with it comes possibility. Closing and opening doors. New employees to hire, new neighborhood to learn about. The Miami adventure becomes more real. A separate but new relationship with my wife. Waves of sadness give way to excitement about a new future. Gains inside of loss. Life goes on.


Her Majesty's Plaything said...

Transitions like the ones you describe are very difficult. Congratulations on selling your house and best of luck with all of the other changes happening in your life. It must seem very overwhelming and I can certainly identify with that. At the same time there is so much promise and possibility now that you couldn't take advantage of before. I think you are making all the right choices my friend. Good luck! ;-)

Whizzer said...


I think you're more ready that you know. You're going to do great. You won't abandon the soon to be ex - that's not your style. And the possibilities!! Your patience will payoff!


Maitresse S said...

Hey Advo - I understand where you're at right now. It's the place I was at 3 years ago.

I'm glad to hear you and your wife are staying friendly (from what it sounds). I wanted that with my ex but he didn't.

If you need anything, I'm on your side. :)


advochasty said...


The whole thing is such a roller coaster. Added to the mix is the real problem that neither of us trust Flirt Broker. Oddly, the apartment "sale" has brought us together more than we recently have been. It doesn't mean that we won't live separately, but it does mean there is real strength in the relationship.

Whizzer -

Gotta say that your advice (and Aarkey's) on the broker was so completely on the money. She has become such a horror show it may cost the deal. I'm glad I didn't compromise anything.

Thanks for the kind words. Sometimes it seems full of possibilities and the next moment I'm bereft. To be expected I suppose.

Ms. S -

I really think that my wife and I will maintain a very strong relationship. Whatever that is - we really bonded over the "sale" process. While this transaction is in doubt, we will certainly eventually sell, I'll move out and we will still have a strong tie. It feels reassuring.

Her Majesty's Plaything said...

Hi Advo:

Your comments underscore the point that sexual compatibility is just one component necessary for a successful male/female relationship. A bond of true friendship and trust is also extremely important. You and your wife appear to share that. Where sexual passion may wear thin over time the bond of friendship tends to become stronger. If only sexual compatibility were not such an important component. But for most of us it really is.

Glad you didn't reveal yourself to Flirt Broker. That would have been a disaster. She sounds like a piece of work.

Aarkey said...

Another chapter begins...

NYC's loss is FL's gain. :)

I'll start up the grill!

Mistress Veronica NYC said...

Let me get this straight- you're thinking about moving to Miami??

That sucks major donkey, but I understand why you might do it.

Hang in there, I'm sure you'll come out the other side just fine.

advochasty said...

Aarkey and Ms. V;

I am not, I repeat not - moving to Miami permanently. I am a New Yorker through and through.

I would, however, very much enjoy a bi-East-Coastal lifestyle. Like sometime in each great place.

Is that some kind of independant kink? Bi-East-Coastalism?

That way, it's everyone's gain and nobody's loss.

But Veronica, if it gets you to say "sucks major donkey" ... it's all good!! ;-)

Aarkey said...

I don't know if you could call that a kink...

However if it were forced bi-East-Coastal, then maybe ;)

advochasty said...

Hmmm...whaddaya think Ms. V? A little forced bi-East Coastal to avoid sucking major donkey? Might be a plan? ;-0

Her Majesty's Plaything said...

By Jove I just had tea with Major Donkey last week! I had no idea he was so well endowed! :p

advochasty said...

Ground control to Major Dong-key.

I'm floating in a most peculiar way...

Here am I sitting in my tin can.

Far above the Moon.

Planet Earth is blue and there's nothing I can do...

Her Majesty's Plaything said...

LOL! :-p