Sunday, December 30, 2012

Fast Away

Tomorrow is New Year's Eve. I've always hated the holiday. Nothing like enforced merriment. But the week between Christmas and New Year's is a whole other thing. This year I was struggling with bad bronchitis, but usually the week bursts with erotic portent. The deliciously possible year end fling is ever elusive, but for that one week its promise dangles like ripened fruit pleading for plucking before it drops to the ground; bruised, bashed, and broken.

It was a year. Another year. For the first time since the recession began my work profits were respectable. I left life as a kinky single man about town and committed to care giving for my dying wife. While my personal life has become something of a shrunken and muted fugue, I find the experience of helping my wife to be sustaining and profound.

I asked her the other day why she thought I was so good at it and without missing a beat she said it was because I was "into S&M". She thought I was erotically driven to serve and help for her has tapped into that motivation. It is so ironic that what drove us to separate has provided the glue to our current relationship. It's so not sexy, but I get a deep satsfaction from my efforts.

So with my personal work star on the rise, her life is in a continuous downward spiral. Two opposite arcs with no chance of a future meeting. I sometimes have fleeting glimpses of future fantasy. But for now I look forward in a most bittersweet way to the coming of a new year and my continued life in the moment.

Wednesday, December 5, 2012

Date Site D/s

In these days of work and giving care I have little time for kink, dating, or even time to daydream and fantasize about meeting Mistress Right. Life feels like one massive to do list that I'm always falling far, far behind on. But somehow I manage to stumble on and get things accomplished.

But I still have my on-line dating profile up. I've actually updated it to let visitors know I'm taking care of my wife. I've also actually come out and said outright that I'm a kinky, submissive guy looking for the perfect dommy girl next door. Not that I'm going to get any takers, but I check from time to time and do searches for fun.

And so it was that I went on the site a couple of weeks ago and did a search for the personality trait of kinkiness. The site has loads of questions to answer and it catagorizes responses to come up with a personality profile. It rates characteristics like aggressiveness, coolness, wealth, physical activity, and conventional morality as against a norm of other site users. The profile is displayed as a bar graph ranking you as either more or less pronounced than the average. Among the character traits is kinkiness. Their kinky sex questions are general but not too bad. Some of the questions are ridiculous but what do you expect.

Anyway I did my search and started looking at the results. The "Girlfriend Store" spit back many usual suspects who I'd checked out many times before. Then, there was Mistress Alex! And we were a 99% match! I've only met her once at a kinky literary soiree evening at Glint and liked her very much. Who am I kidding? I thought she was incredibly hot, smart, and sexy. I loved it that she actually came up to me and said she liked my writing. I'll do anything for anyone who likes my writing!

I immediately looked at how we matched on the sex questions as the site allows that sort of filter. After so many disappointing "fits" our answers to kinky sex questions matched almost perfectly.
"Would you like to have your partner strap on a dildo and put it inside you"
She No - Me Yes
"Preferred Position?"
She Top - Me Bottom
"Would you consider a relationship as master or slave?"
She Yes, as master - Me Yes, as slave.

And after so many comparasions that didn't fit it was such a refreshing experience to see a real match. I sent her a nice note saying I liked her profile and hoped she was having fun. She sent a quick thank you. So even though it's not going to be spontaneous combustion I am grateful to Alex for answering a massive number of date site questions to allow me to see how a real match connection with a dominant woman would work.

After I was done with my little comparasion the site offers an like service akin to "if you liked Alex, you'll like these women as well". I checked down the list and there was Mistress Veronica! Maybe we'll take over this date site after all!