First, MTO posted a piece on her blog about "Summoning". She wrote about the appeal of just snapping her fingers and a guy would appear - summoned - to do whatever it was she wanted or needed. She talked about how this is something of a recurring guy fantasy and something that held a draw for her too. But the practical realities of the day-to-day always seemed to intrude.
I commented that I'd had this recent reverie that I had packed it all in, moved to She's island paradise, and become her butler/gofer/general dogsbody. MTO's reply included this remark;
Later in the week, I was talking about missing She with my shrink and how I was tired of the remaining secrecy that's attached to my relationship with her. Shrink said that my relationship with She is so much broader and richer than just a "kink thing" and what more would I want anyone to know? Isn't the rest of my relationship with her just private? I mean, my wife knows that I have a happily married, dear friend, who's name is She (I mean her real first name - the wife snooped a pretty vanilla but heartfelt email on the BB - so she knows She's first name), and who lives outside the country. Do I really need her to know about the kink stuff?
...part of what makes any play partner compelling, at least to me, is the fullness of his life. That he brings something to the table besides adoration and service. I absolutely believe that one of my most valuable attributes as a Domme is that I’m more than just a domme.
And with those two remarks it really dawned on me that I actually live a pretty well integrated life. I can't tell you how much better it feels than even three or four years ago when pretty much everything I did about perviness was hidden or secret. Private doesn't mean closeted away. It just means private.
Anyway, for what it's worth, I totally agree with Ms. Troy Orleans. What makes for interesting play partners, friends, and people in general is a fullness of life. Just a feeling I got...