Sunday, December 19, 2010

Death Of A Dog - Birth Of A Future

His name started as a joke. My wife kidded she wanted to introduce us, "This is my husband Advo and my dog Advotey." The name stuck. Many people thought it was the height of self-centered, narcissistic vanity that I'd named my dog after myself. Advotey's name was also my father's nickname.

I inherited the legasy of an absent, alcoholic father who terrified me as a child with guns and untrained hunting dogs. My uncharacteristic mid-life outdoorsman odyssey was an expiation of these sins. My dog was my guide.

My once strong and noble hunter had been dying for over a year. Wracked with the effects of Cushing's disease his powerful back legs were wasting away, his handsome head was boney, and his once thick lusterous coat was thin and marred with bald spots and warts. Though he was recovering remarkably well from the Cushing's, two weeks ago he had his second violent seizure in a month and I knew it was time to help him die.

For fifteen years he'd guarded my soul, retrieved my spirit, and happily licked clean my wounds of day-to-day human life. It's the deal we make with a dog. They love us - period. They trust us to do right. In that bond we are rescued from mediocrity and become heros to a wagging tail.

Dogs are pure D/s creatures. They dominate or they submit. He would dive into a tangled thicket of sharp thorns, completely oblivious to vicious bloody stabbings, to recover a small quail and then obediently deliver it to my hand. I spent years training him. He was a soft dog. You could not be too harsh with him. He served and he lived to please.

He is my model of the noble, strong, courageous submissive. I miss him horribly, but am comforted that for all he gave me, I held up my end of the bargain.

Aarkey and I had spent the day in my new office grunting and groaning together what turned out to be a massive desk that threatened to eat the space whole. He claimed I was overcompensating for something. Wise ass.

Anyway, I'm a tenant in the beautiful downtown suite and my new landlords were throwing a holiday party that night - my reason to come down and work the room.
We cleaned up as we could but tiny white bits of styrofoam packing littered the plush deep green hallway carpeting outside the office. I was told there was no vacuum cleaner.

My next door neighbor is a partner in one of the firms and she serves as the office manager. She came to the door dressed for the party in a short red mini-dress, black hose, black heels and a clingy black sweater.

She bluntly chided, "Advo, this has to be cleaned up," as she pointed to the minute white particles. She glared at me and walked off.

Aarkey and I looked at each other. "Dude, she shoulda put her hand on her hip," he suggested. "Yeah", I giggled, "and pointed at me and then at the floor."

I went out into the hallway and picked up every last little nib of white. Apparently, Aarkey's wife got quite the chuckle from our first day at the new office story.

My spirit dog romps loyally with me as the future tugs me forward with heartache, hope and maybe a few laughs along the way.


Subdued said...

Hi Advo,

I'm so sorry to hear about your dog. That was a beautifully written post, one that resonated with me from experience. As you say, you held up your end of the bargain.

This was also a great end-of-year post in general, recognizing as it does endings and beginnings. Hope your move goes well and all my best for 2011.


advochasty said...


Thanks for the kind words about my dog and my writing about him. It was so oddly comforting to be there for him when he most needed me.

And while I had not seen it as an "end-of-year" post, you are dead on the money with that observation.

My move is expansion and does not include a leaving. Bi-East Coastal is what I aspire to be.

What could be bad about the Sunshine State in January, February, March, and April.

I too wish you the very best in 2011. Thanks for dropping by. It is, as always, a true pleasure to see your comment.

Her Majesty's Plaything said...

Hi Advo:

This is a beautiful and eloquent eulogy for your noble friend. I especially loved your simple poignant description of the unconditional love between master and pet; " It's the deal we make with a dog.They love us - period." Small wonder that relationships with animals can sometimes be more fulfilling than relationships with people.

You and I spoke about his death already so I know how much it affected you. I completely agree with you about the dog being the quintessential D/s being. I have often thought of my submissive side as being distinctly canine.

Best of luck to you with everything that is going on in your life. Reach for the stars my friend.

Aarkey said...

A suiting tribute to the passing of a good friend.

And I still contend that it's better to be a smart ass than a dumb ass ;)

See you again soon, and maybe the office mistress will scold you regularly... only time can tell if you'll be that lucky!

advochasty said...


Thanks again for the kind condolence. There were so many times that I felt more connected to him than to people.

I'm totally a dog-like sub. Loyal, brave, and generally obedient but in need of training, correction, and guidance.

Aarkey -

My plan is to be completely reasonable and an excellent tenant, but be charmingly rogueish so she feels compelled to correct.

I got chastised for having a delivery guy bring my filing cabinet back as the dolly wheels messed up the carpet.

It's gonna be easy to get yelled at. ;-)

Aarkey said...

Yelled? She seemed much more of a discreet scolder kind of bossy woman to me.

Definitely strict. And I know how much you like that. :)

Gotta teach her that impatient foot tap while HoH'n and it'll be golden.


advochasty said...

A -

Euphemistic use of "yelled" for sure. She's much more subtle than a holler, yet so erotically patronizing. Her to-my-ear-racy reprimands were combined with some discreet hand on forearm touching as she'd pass me during the meet and greet. still my heart!

I think I like Mistress Office Ma'am!

Aarkey said...

She's definitely got the patronizing down. I'm glad you like it. I think I'd like it coming from someone who locks my in chastity or wrist restraints, but otherwise... I just bristle.

advochasty said...

A -

I suppose I do a little of both liking and bristling. In a workaday world sense there's no reason for that sort of behavior. However, without buying into it, I appreciate it for what it is. Like a demanding, dommy judge. Might not always be fun, but I find the "love" where I can.

Sublivion2k said...


Just catching up on my reading. So sorry to hear of the loss of your dog. Your post is quite a tribute to him.

I'll be looking forward to more of your writing in 2011, especially given the new "Office Ma'am"!

Happy New Year!


advochasty said...

Hey Jeffery,

Thanks. I picked up his ashes yesterday. We'll have a little ceremony on the mountain that is his "spiritual homeland".

Should have monthly tales of Mistress Office Ma'am. Happy New Year to you!!