I don't know what it was about yesterday but some of my terror and anxiety melted away. I mistakenly thought, "Good feeling for the first day of spring." Only a month behind the vernal equinox am I. Last week I'd had a nice conversation with She-Who-Visits as we both commuted to our jobs - she on her idyllic blue water isle and me, drop topped in the Magic City. I talked to her about actually looking forward to moving back in with my wife because each morning and meal with her has become precious. "I'm so glad you are getting to do this," she said with sympathy and real enthusiasm. Me too I said, me too.
And then yesterday morning I had this giddy optimism that I'll figure this all out. Things will be okay. I have great friends who I'll stay in touch with and have been talking to, hanging out with, or connecting with on-line. I'm a dramatically changed person in the past two years. Though I'll miss my black and white poster of Julie Newmar when I leave the man-cave in June I realize I don't need to announce my kink with home decor anymore. I just am. And I'm much more open about most everything with my wife. Though I won't date for the time being, it doesn't mean I have to stop having dinner, lunch, coffee, or drinks with my domme friends and subbie guy buddies. And who knows what outlet I'll figure for my kink. It's a work in progress and I'm creating it as I go.
I'd been talking to kinky friends about kink relationships and the problems we all face in forging them. Yesterday I just had this overwhelming feeling of hope and optimism that we're all in this together. Is it one big campfire sing along? I think not. But we're all out there working it and we have each other to help us along the way. And for that I am just eternally grateful.
Anyway, for musical diversion I've hung on to this Pat Benatar clip as it's kind of like a ruined orgasm - the most deliciously wicked of tease and denial "punishment".
A Munch Guide
5 years ago
4 comments:
I can't believe I missed seeing your man cave. I have to come visit this summer. It would be interesting to see the old neighborhood again. I am sure it will bring back LOTS of old memories!
You are definitely in one day a time land my friend. It's good that you are positive and optimistic. I think the lessons we learn in the program prepare us for times like these. This too shall pass so enjoy every precious moment while you have it.
HMP -
Yes, I can surely overload if I go much past a day or what is right in my face at the moment. Plan and scheme yes, but I'm trying not worry about anything not right under my nose.
Perspective... is once again everything.
Glad you're upbeat about it all. If there's one thing that growing up is affording me, its a freedom from not caring so much what others might think of me. I don't hide my kink like I used to, though I don't scream it from the rooftop either.
And great pick with the song. Now I'm always going to think of tease and denial when I hear it. Well, aside from Pat Benetar's delicious figure and those lips of hers. Man... I swear that high arched upper lip of hers is a whole nother fetish for me :P
Aarkey -
I actually thought of you when I found the clip and when I posted it. We share the Pat Benetar fetish. Her cheekbones ...
Yes, perspective is a day at time thing, brother; but I try as best as I can to remain upbeat!
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