I feel like I used to when I ran competitively and pretty much would sprint flat out the 3.5 mile silly corporate challenge races in Central Park. The aerobic became the anaerobic and with no real breathing capacity my muscles would just carry me by some out of body masochistic determination to finish. Such is life when moving back in with a woman who just two years ago I decided I did not want to live with anymore.
But things change and while I'm not really going back to my marriage, I am looking forward to spending time with someone I love dearly and who truly needs me. I hate giving up my mancave and unwittingly may have already spent my last night there earlier this week. But like practically everyone, financial realities don't allow me to carry four homes. Jeez, realistically, there are income cycles where I'm lucky to hold one down. So a big part of the move is confronting the money thing and shuffling slowly to some sort of semblance of a practical, prudent, and pragmatic care about the pecuniary.
Ho hum.
But life could be so much worse. We'll live in a really great place. There's a little terrace where I can smoke my cigars. I get my morning river run and there's a killer view. But I won't be dating and alone time will no longer be just a quick cab ride away. It is a loss and a sacrifice, but worth it to be able to care for my terminally ill wife.
To look at her last night at the concert we went to you'd never know she was so sick. She was happily enthralled with Mavis Staples and Bonnie Raitt. And I thought that if Bonnie can look so hot and sexy at 62 then I can too. I don't need to feel that life is over - just a new chapter to begin.
Bonnie gave good patter between songs last night. She introduced one number by telling us that there was a time in her life when she was looking for some quality trouble and that she found him. So just because I'm giving up my single life for that of a caretaker, doesn't mean that I can't keep my eye out for some quality trouble.
You just can't make your heart feel something it won't.
A Munch Guide
4 years ago
6 comments:
Good luck with this life change my friend. I can so relate to what you are going through. Being a care taker can be enormously rewarding and also maddeningly difficult. And yes money (or lack thereof) dictates a lot about what options are available to you and your loved one. That is a great view though! I remember it well! ;-)
And so, we both move on towards the next chapter of our adventure stories...
Be well my friend.
It was a particularly good view of Bonnie at the Beacon! She is still so hot! Moved my mancave home theater to the new digs. Life is good!
Adventure stories indeed! As long as I look at it that way and not as some awful slog it's all good! Will be down your way the first couple weeks of July. Summer in South Florida...yeah! Hope to see ya!
Moving is a huge pain in the ass--you don't realize how much crap you have until you have to put it into boxes and run it down the stairs. Bleh.
"Mancave home theater" lmao lmao Men always love their electronics!
I wish you and your wife all the best. And thank you for the advice you left on my blog--I used it.
Margo,
Yes I'm very fond of my electronics! The acoustics in her place are much better than in my old one. Trouble is I like some real basso profundo in my subwoofer experience and she does not. Oh well.
Glad I could help with the L&T issue but based on your most recent post not sure of what use my suggestion was.
Hope all is well.
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