Wednesday, December 5, 2012

Date Site D/s

In these days of work and giving care I have little time for kink, dating, or even time to daydream and fantasize about meeting Mistress Right. Life feels like one massive to do list that I'm always falling far, far behind on. But somehow I manage to stumble on and get things accomplished.

But I still have my on-line dating profile up. I've actually updated it to let visitors know I'm taking care of my wife. I've also actually come out and said outright that I'm a kinky, submissive guy looking for the perfect dommy girl next door. Not that I'm going to get any takers, but I check from time to time and do searches for fun.

And so it was that I went on the site a couple of weeks ago and did a search for the personality trait of kinkiness. The site has loads of questions to answer and it catagorizes responses to come up with a personality profile. It rates characteristics like aggressiveness, coolness, wealth, physical activity, and conventional morality as against a norm of other site users. The profile is displayed as a bar graph ranking you as either more or less pronounced than the average. Among the character traits is kinkiness. Their kinky sex questions are general but not too bad. Some of the questions are ridiculous but what do you expect.

Anyway I did my search and started looking at the results. The "Girlfriend Store" spit back many usual suspects who I'd checked out many times before. Then, there was Mistress Alex! And we were a 99% match! I've only met her once at a kinky literary soiree evening at Glint and liked her very much. Who am I kidding? I thought she was incredibly hot, smart, and sexy. I loved it that she actually came up to me and said she liked my writing. I'll do anything for anyone who likes my writing!

I immediately looked at how we matched on the sex questions as the site allows that sort of filter. After so many disappointing "fits" our answers to kinky sex questions matched almost perfectly.
"Would you like to have your partner strap on a dildo and put it inside you"
She No - Me Yes
"Preferred Position?"
She Top - Me Bottom
"Would you consider a relationship as master or slave?"
She Yes, as master - Me Yes, as slave.

And after so many comparasions that didn't fit it was such a refreshing experience to see a real match. I sent her a nice note saying I liked her profile and hoped she was having fun. She sent a quick thank you. So even though it's not going to be spontaneous combustion I am grateful to Alex for answering a massive number of date site questions to allow me to see how a real match connection with a dominant woman would work.

After I was done with my little comparasion the site offers an like service akin to "if you liked Alex, you'll like these women as well". I checked down the list and there was Mistress Veronica! Maybe we'll take over this date site after all!


Constanze Borgia said...

I have this idea that you might just take over all the vanilla dating sites and turn them kinky ;)

advochasty said...

Constanze -

World Dating Domination...or submission as the case may be!

Miss Margo said...


I got a big kick out of this blog entry!

Mistress Alex and I worked at the same dungeon when I started out in the Biz. We were never more than passing acquaintances, but I was always very impressed by her. Very talented.

Anyway, IF this is the same dating website that I'm thinking of...I SALUTE you for having the guts to answer all those questions and "come out" there. Cause it's really weird--and, to be fair, pretty funny--to be ranked, like, "93% more kinky than other users!" ARRGHH!

Maybe I am just a deranged sex maniac, but I am consistently unimpressed with what the general public (as I understand it) considers to be kinky or even racy. Every now and then I get a reality check.

Very glad to read this blog update and I hope you and your wife are doing okay!

Yours in demented sex mania,

Miss Margo

advochasty said...

Margo -

I am always a little miffed by what this dating site considers kinky. Like I'll find someone who tests off the charts for kinkiness and there's no common ground at all. But it was cool to see the way the questions clicked with Alex.

She has this magnetic and alluring combination of sweetness and erotic menace. I think I'm crushin' big time.

Miss Margo said...

"I am always a little miffed by what this dating site considers kinky."

TELL ME ABOUT IT! Would you consider a 3-way? Would you like it if your partner used a vibrator? Puh-leeze!

Enjoy your crush. Crushes are fun!

Her Majesty's Plaything said...

Hi Advo:

I know what you mean about the never ending "to do list" that goes with being a care giver though I believe your situation is a good deal more challenging than mine.

"Girl Friend Store?" Ha ha ha! That's awesome! Can you choose potential dates and put them in your shopping cart? LOL! I love it! ;-)

Regarding Mistress Alex I have always thought she was quite something. She is not only a beautiful and highly skilled Domme, but also incredibly smart and an excellent writer. I really like the way she thinks. One of the few Max Fisch posters I still enjoy reading. Even though you are exploring lifestyle D/s it might be worthwhile to take a brief detour and check out a play date with her no? I mean in light of your excellent compatibility quotient and all. ;-) If I were single I might just do that myself.

Best of luck with everything you've got going on my friend. I know it's a lot! Namaste.

advochasty said...

Margo -

Yes the sight thinks opposite sex sex is kinky.

But there are some good questions.

"Would you be pleased if a partner expressed the desire to be sexually humiliated by you?"

She - Yes

Me - No

Now that's a kinky match made in heaven!!

advochasty said...


Caregiving of any sort adds an incredibly challenging dimension to life.

One of my old dates referred to the site as her "Boyfriend Store". I thought it was funny and true.

Hmmm...the idea of sessioning has crossed my mind. However, I so feel like I've been there and done that.

Besides, it feels hot and only slightly creepy that I'm confessing publicly to my crush on Alex.

I hope she doesn't mind...

Her Majesty's Plaything said...

I'm sure she doesn't mind amigo! ;-)

Aarkey said...

1) Kudos on coming out about who you are and what you're seeking. I know how that goes and while its risky, its also liberating. :)

Was this the kinky quiz?

If not, I'd like a link. I always find those things to be interesting, though often quite general.

I'm grateful for our friendship, and looking forward to seeing you again when you are down here. Be well my friend.

advochasty said...


I think you are right!

Ms. A and I had the following Twitterverse flirtation after I posted a link inviting my massive 28 followers to check out why I was crushing on her:

Her - ;)

Me - ;-P

Her - You better watch that tongue or it's going to get you in trouble.

Me - :-I

Her - ;D

Guess she didn't mind after all. Plus she retweeted my link to the blog to her substantial following! Very cool.

advochasty said...

Aarkey -

I just got tired of women not getting my somewhat cryptic references. Much better this way.

It's a dating site, not FetLife. If you want I'll send you the name. I've written about it before. It's free and it's a time investment. Plus, very few kinky folks there in reality. Have seen none in FLA and believe me...I have searched. And searched...and searched again. In fact...let me see...

Her Majesty's Plaything said...

Very hot! ;-)

advochasty said...

Way hot!!!