Sunday, August 25, 2013

Je Suis Perdu

It was a perfect August Friday afternoon. We met in a hotel in the FiDi. I had suggested we "get a room" the day after we made out like teenagers on the park bench and she said, "Are you crazy? Spend all that money? You can just wait until I'm an empty nester again". But the delicious sexual tension grew and she agreed to allow me to go ahead and make a hotel reservation. Now, I've never done the love in the afternoon thing with a room that I rent for overnight. Do I tip the maid? When I check out will they smirk knowingly that I wished for clean sheets and an hourly rate? She-Who-Visits used to get hotels to give her a "day rate" when she plied her trade back in the day. No day rates in our world today. Believe me I tried.

But once I'd made the res I felt totally right about it. And so she and I met at the hotel's wine bar. She kissed me wet and hot and sat down. "I'm nervous", she whispered. "Me too", I confessed. "No you aren't", she followed. Really I was nervous. Mostly about whether what so far seemed like a perfect lightening strike would crash and burn. And of course I worried about getting it up. Am I the only guy who worries about getting it up?

The concierge delivered the hotel key to our table. She definitely gave me a "you naughty boy" look. I'm sure she did. That's my story and I'm sticking to it. So we went up to the room. When I tried to sneak my Levitra into my mouth and Mi Goddessa asked what I was doing I told her it was an insurance policy pill and she just smiled.

In our little den of sin I did a slow strip tease as she lay back on the bed and watched. Then I found the generic fancy lotion mid-level hotels like to use to convince you that you are among the luxuriously moneyed class. I started on her feet and she was moaning. The next thing I knew I was having the most incredible mind blowing straight vanilla sex of my life. No lie. We ravished each other. For hours. We fucked like bunnies and made love like it was the last time we'd ever see each other.

So? Is vanilla a gateway fetish? Should I stop writing about kink and focus on a gazillion kama sutra positions? I swear I feel like a little kid in a candy shop. Can I have another please? Can we try that thing I haven't done in like 25 years? Oh please!!!

Actually, quick as its been I think I've fallen in love with La Goddessa De Vainilla. She is not a domme. But she's open to exploring all things kinky. She's been reading my blog and thinks Veronica is unbelievably hot. She loves the retro lingerie sites I've shown her. Most of all we connect. Now this is a relationship that could just so easily disintegrate. I can't give her the love and attention she wants right now and caring for my wife will always come first. But I've imagined a life with Maitresse Vainilla in such brilliant detail that it's scary. What am I going to do? I have no clue. But for now I'm lost in romance.

Que voy hacer je ne sais pas. Que voy hacer je suis perdu a mi carina vainillita.


Her Majesty's Plaything said...

Congratulations Advo!!! Reading this post really made me smile! :-) I am very happy for you! A little known fact is that vanilla is a seriously underrated flavor, especially on kinky blogs! And no you are not the only guy who worries about "that"! Awesome! You go amigo! :-)

advochasty said...


Thanks man! Me thinks it's subversive and kinky to write about a scrumptious vanilla sundae on a kinky sex blog. OMG it totally blew me away. Never ever like this!

She asked how a casual thing got here and all I could say was "shit happens". Quite the wordsmith I am!

Anonymous said...

Is that a concealed weapon in your heart?!

Miss Margo said...

I almost had a joy-stroke reading this post.

Enjoy yourself.

And by the way, you are certainly NOT the only guy who worries about getting it up. lol.

See you at dinner!

advochasty said...

Dear Anonymous,

No, I'm just happy to see you!! Heart weapon completely unsheathed.

advochasty said...

Margo -

Awww, thanks. Joy-stroke. too. I hope I never recover from my joy-stroke.

Oh I was being rhetorical, you know that! All guys worry about getting it up, size, staying around, and whether it's okay to sleep after...

Looking forward to dinner!!

Aarkey said...

Woot! Glad you're having fun... and I never know what exactly is vanilla. I do know that for me, I need more than just fantasy in my life, but does that mean I don't want to just get hot and sweaty without handcuffs or nipple clamps from time to time.

But without that vanilla spark, without the passion... I just don't see it as something fulfilling enough for me.

The same goes for the conversation. The time walking along, holding hands. The times making dinner. The times... all the times...

How much of any relationship is about the sexuality? How much of it is has to be "kinky" to cross out of vanilla?

These are answers I don't know.

But I do know that I'm very happy for you, mon ami.

advochasty said...

Aarkey -

I suppose I'd been searching for Mistress Right with the capital M. A girl well versed in kink and for sure a domme. Kink, like Vanilla, are unspecified generic categories. I agree that the other everyday lovey dovey stuff is important how ever the relationship is defined.

But this sex was regular old sex. I had not had such sex in decades. It totally blew me away.

She's very interested in all sorts of kinky stuff. Like being tied up. Me? Who? You talking to me? No, no, I get tied up. I don't do the tying.

But it actually appealed to me because I love her to death and she'd look cute in hemp rope.

My mission: "to explore strange new worlds, to seek out new life and new civilizations, to boldly go where no man has gone before."

Well, I guess a few have gone where I maybe going but it's all new to me. Thanks for dropping by!!

Miss Margo said...

Hi Advo, just checking in again,

First, I shared this with you via email but I think everyone ought to know about it:


Moving on: I read the previous dialogue (whoops, missed the joke about getting it up...DUH) and your comment at 3:00 PM.

I can relate. My sexuality is very kinky. My fantasies do not typically involve...well, vanilla sex. My fantasies are violent.

BUT! A good shag with someone you're really attracted to feels fantastic and it is soooo much fun and it makes special chemicals in your brain that make you like/love the other person even more. I know I'm being Captain Obvious here.

I think it also satisfies ME (can't speak for everyone) on some primordial level. Maybe it's the...mating, even if it's with condoms/contraceptives.

I hate to darken the doorway of your awesome blog with his name, but sex with the Mathematician was pretty vanilla by my standards, but still fun and exciting.

Finally: I've successfully introduced non-sadomasochists to kink. I know it's harder because you're a man. IMO, the key is to take it slow and don't be pushy, demonstrate appreciation and enthusiasm at every kinky effort or baby-step they make, make sure that they know that their effort REALLY TURNS YOU ON AND MAKES YOU HOT FOR THEM even if they don't quite know what they're doing yet, and, importantly, make sure that their vanilla sex needs are gratified.

I hope you don't mind this unsolicited advice. I only mention this stuff because I know what it's like to Tell Your Partner You're Kinky.

See you soon!

Brigit Delaney said...

Awww...that is so sweet.

Vanilla sex has plenty to offer...just as much as just need to be having it with the right person. Nothing is boring if the lover is the right one.

Sounds like you know what you have, what you can offer, and just how fragile it all is. That awareness, honesty, and your attention is all you can promise.

You're such a good (naughty) man.

advochasty said...

Margo -

Yes, thanks so much for the day rate site. I checked it out and it looks great. Excellent rates and a fine selection. Every place I tried shot me down and I specifically remembered She-Who-Visits telling me all about day rates.

I never fantasize about vanilla sex - until now. I always have some edge of humiliation running. The, ehem, "unfamiliar methods"; instead of hastening my process they slowed it all down. That plus the hard on pill really contributed to Mi Goddessa's enjoyment - which to a service subbie is certainly heart warming.

I have tried to introduce non-kinky people to kink and always failed miserably. Your advice is great. I appreciate it immensely. I will try everything you suggest and then some. But in the end, it may be you're either a domme or you're not.

On the other hand, my caregiving has made me less happy to be ordered about and criticized so this vanilla interlude is just fun.

Just seeing what develops rather than calling some set of ultimate questions.

Looking forward to seeing you!!

advochasty said...


So nice to see you here.

I love this thing I have so much and am acutely aware of its fragility. She's just as aware of it.

This morning she wrote, "We love too much and we don't love enough." She wrote me about Dylan Thomas and his line about "Though lovers be lost love shall not;
And death shall have no dominion."

She wrote, "We are less certain and more open"

How can I not just want to eat this delicious and scrumptious vanilla sundae with a spoon??

Thanks for the ever so kind words!


LadyRissa said...

Huzzah! I wish you much joy of her. :)

Lady Rissa

Tara Sterling said...

This is great! I'm glad you've met someone with whom you have genuine electric chemistry.

advochasty said...

Lady R,

Thanks so much! Lovely to see your comment!

advochasty said...

Hey Ms. T!!

Electric indeed! So nice so see you here! Let's catch up soon!!!


Anonymous said...

I can see what you've been up to since our meeting with Claudia years ago