Friday, December 23, 2011

Do I Have A Home For Christmas?

I'm up early. Back on the Upper West Side. Sitting on the sofa with my dog in my wife's apartment. Her new go-cart wheelchair dominates the living room. It is an otherwise beautiful place. Stunning views of the Hudson and the majestic sweep of West End Avenue reaching north. I left the West Village last night to come up here. I've grown to like it here even though I dislike the Donald Trump, well-heeled, housing project feel of the neighborhood.

I'll spend Christmas here. It feels like home. I think. The alternative of being single and alone for Christmas looms and I try not to think about how I'd spend the holiday when my wife is gone. Maybe it would be like how I don't miss the living on Riverside Drive; but somehow I don't think so. I just don't think about it and try to live here and now.

It's a good way to try to be. I had a good year. A solid foothold in Miami, better business in New York, and being present even when it's hard. So I'll help my wife learn how to drive her Rolls Royce wheelchair. Can't say as I'm happy that Santa brought this contraption into our lives, but it is there. I rolled the rug up last night so its tight little turning radius wouldn't tangle it in the squat wheels.

I guess I do have a home for Christmas.

8 comments:

Her Majesty's Plaything said...

Merry Christmas Advo. Life brings incredibly difficult challenges along with all of its blessings. We seek a sense of safety and permanence but everything is always in flux. One thing is always true though; home is wherever the people we love are.

I remember that view very well. I saw it out my window every day as a child growing up! ;-)

advochasty said...

HMP -

Merry Christmas to you too my friend! Home is indeed where the people you love are. And as life goes on I have high hopes for both the staying power of old loves and the potential for new love.

Miss Margo said...

MERRY CHRISTMAS, ADVO!

Let's get coffee when I get back to NYC. Will be in touch.

advochasty said...

Margo,

Merry Christmas! Coffee sounds good!

Aarkey said...

Merry Christmas my friend. While some holidays are bitter sweet, so is chocolate.

Or something like that.

Best wishes for a joyous New Years!

advochasty said...

Aarkey -

Mostly sweet. Really nice time. Hope you had a fine yuletide!

I really hate NYE. One of my least favorite holidays of the year. I like Flag Day better...

But I do mean it when I wish you the happiest and healthiest of New Years!!

Miss Margo said...

I'm curious--why don't you like New Year's, Advo?

I know why I don't like it. I used to LOVE NYE, but that was during my little winning streak. In the last few years, the holiday has only served to aggravate my fear and discontent. Though, FOR SURE, this year I am much much more hopeful about the future.

Sorry to be Miss Domme Downer on your blog comments. It's just that other than pessimism--which I would never hold against anyone, living or dead--I don't know why someone wouldn't like NYE. Does it just seem corny to you, or what?

TY

advochasty said...

Margo -

I hate New Year's Eve because it always seems like enforced merriment. I hate it because there is pressure to do something. I used to hate it when I drank because it was amatuer night. Now I just feel vaguely uncomfortable around people getting loaded.

In my recent life I hate it because New Year's '08 was the last time I felt any sense of financial security. Threw a nice party and then the world seemed to turn upside down.

But this year, despite having no use for New Year's Eve; I am feeling good about a New Year.