Sunday, July 22, 2012

The Next Move

So here I am, moved back in with my wife and trying to figure out how to keep up the search for a connection to the kink. I suppose it's not so much "community connection" I seek but rather to keep in touch with friends, make new ones, and have the occassional possibility of a fetish fling of some sort or another. While I don't feel that I can really search out "dating" opportunities, if something organic happened I'd be open to seeing where it led. So a "put-myself-in-harm's-way" strategy seems key. Just the hint of potential can carry me for weeks, sad as that may seem.

She-Who-Visits and I are conspiring to do our annual pilgrimage to Sanibel. She and her husband left corporate type jobs in NYC to be dive instructors in a Caribbean paradise. Now, ironically, they are both back in the hustle on their island and work worse hours than some of my big law bretheren do in NYC. So I know she's looking for a little R&R.

Axe is going to interview me for the Masocast in a couple of weeks, so I'm looking forward that chat. He's the Charlie Rose of bdsm and I'm thinking it will be big fun to talk to him. And then hear myself when it goes public!

I'm hoping to have dinner with my former dance partner and former kinky date set up. Even though there wasn't a love connection I do really miss our weekly turns around the studio floor. And I miss her. Plus, even though there's no chance of any shennanigans, she's way hot and I just like deluding myself into believing that she missed me so much that she'll grab me, drag me back to her place, and have her way with me.

I went to a Recovery In The Lifestyle AA meeting in South Florida. This October will be 30 years of sobriety for me. AA used to be a big part of my life, but I gradually drifted away from it. It was fun to reconnect and say, "Hi, I'm Advo and I'm a kinky alcoholic"!

I think getting my flirt on just a little will improve my feeling of being sucked back into a situation that I didn't want to leave in the first place, but once I did I was just fine. Time will tell.


Her Majesty's Plaything said...

Hi Advo:

Love your "put-myself-in-harm's-way" strategy! It's a good idea to stay "out there" in search of a connection of some sort. Luckily you have lots of friends in the scene.

Very cool that Axe is interviewing you for Masocast! You know I am a big fan of and I will certainly download and listen to your interview! No doubt it will be featured in a blog post as well!

Sanibel Island sounds glorious right about now! How ironic about She Who Visits and her husband. Life has a way of laughing at us when we make plans. No road is easy.

And finally congratualtions on 30 years of continuous sobriety!! That is truly a miracle.

You have a lot of good things going for you my friend. Good luck with everything you've got going on.

(And good luck to me trying to type this "captcha" correctly! Jesus! Could they possibly make this any harder?)

advochasty said...


Harm's way is where to be!

She and Mr. She work incredibly long hours in seriously big time corporate jobs. So ironic!

Thanks on the sobriety. It is amazing.

Yeah, these prove you're not a robot words are absurd. I look right at the word as I type. Somehow it seems to help!

Enjoy August!!

Aarkey said...

Good to see an update bro, and I'm with HMP, getting out there is the only way to get a bit of good and proper abuse ;)

Kinda funny to read that she-who-visits is working harder than what she went to avoid. I think some people just find that wherever they go.

Small clarification, Recovery in the Lifestyle is not an AA meeting, its a separate fellowship, like OA or NA or GA, its unique to itself. Though the majority of our members are also active in AA/NA, its not the rule and we've got members from other fellowships, and no fellowships at all. Either way, it was really great that you could make it there, and several people thanked me for getting you to come out and share :)

advochasty said...

Aarkey -

Thanks for the clarification. I didn't realize that and it makes the whole experience that much more fun! Thanks for inviting me. I had a great time!

Anonymous said...

Congrats on your 30 years of sobriety!! Have a wonderful time in Sanibel if you can swing it. Dont forget, theres always a bolt hole for a kinky night in CT should you need it. :)

advochasty said...

Thanks! I will definitely find time to explore that bolt hole you so kindly offer!

Miss Margo said...

Sorry I'm so late commenting on this blog post, Advo. I check your blog a few times per week, at least.

30 years is fantastic. You ought to be proud of yourself. Most addicts...well, they don't make it sober, as you know. I get so scared when I think about it...but you are an inspiration!

Can't wait to hear you on Masocast! Advo! You're a CELEBRITY! lol

All the best, Advo, and I hope your wife is feeling oK!

advochasty said...

Hi Margo,

Thanks for dropping by! Yeah, thirty years this October is a pretty big deal. Oh yeah, Mr. Celebrity! It will be fun to meet Axe and chat. I'm really looking forward to it.

My wife continues to deteriorate, but she's my inspiration. In the face of an awful death she's living her life to the fullest extent possible. It's just amazingly courageous! Thanks for asking!