Ever since she left I'm just so needy and horny. I mean, every morning I was naked in her hotel room ... smelling her workout clothes she scattered on the floor for me as she showered. I'm sayin' I was eatin' dinner off the glass coffee table top on the floor at her feet as she spat it out just for me. I was walkin' behind her down the street ... her beige pencil skirt fittin' so right and so tight ... the black back seam on her beige stockings so straight and true ... me turnin' a beautiful blue. And now ... she's gone. What's a guy to do?
I'm all hot for vanilla sex.
WTF?
Where's that at? How'd I get from the most wonderful kink week of my life to being all hot and bothered for vanilla sex? I spent the weekend trying to scheme to get close to this way hot woman I've known for awhile. Artsy, foreign, sexy accent. We had drinks on Saturday night and I followed the advice of friends. Flattery will get you everywhere and don't be a creepster were my guiding principles. And it guided me to a late dinner by myself and an early night. I guess just because I want her doesn't mean she wants me.
And then today I was supposed to have coffee with a very flirty friend who I definitely harbor carnal design upon. And don't cha know ... she was sick. Sheesh ... this is difficult. Oh yeah, and there's the little thing about me being married and them knowing that ... and me being honest about that.
Besides ... it's been so embarassingly long I'm pretty sure I've forgotten what to do.
Ahhhhh ... I'm just butterflyin' about ... and everything starts to bend. I guess it's just a personality crisis that's bound to end.
A Munch Guide
5 years ago
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