Tuesday, January 4, 2011

First Date of the New Year

So tonight I'm seeing my new crush girl for the first time in almost a month. Our last date was a quiet, what-are-you-looking-for Advo kind of affair full of promises to see each other before she left NYC to go home for the holidays. Yet despite all the potential we failed to share even a quick cup of coffee and this was not for lack of trying on my part, or for that matter, on her part. But I can't help searching between the lines for a message though.

So last week I got an announcement that RopeShare returns and I asked Crush Girl if she wanted to go. I was very careful to tell her to say no if she had the slightest apprehension. Gotta say though, RopeShare is about as vanilla a true kinky experience as one can have.

First, I think rope bondage is the Scout's Honor merit badge activity of kink. Safety, knots, combination ties, plotting physical predicaments. Almost algebraic...

Second, it takes place on a Sunday afternoon in a brightly lighted space with everyone dressed in loosely fitting schmatta clothes.

Finally, it's a class about the rope. It's only sexy if you take it home to the bedroom or out to the dungeon. Otherwise it's like a Learning Annex class on home plumbing. Very cool home plumbing with nice, fun, interesting, attractive plumbers. But a session it ain't.

So I was perplexed that Crush Girl chose not to respond at all to my invitation. Not yes and not no. Just nothing. Then she asked me out for tonight, Tuesday night. Not exactly date night.

So I'm thinking she's gonna tell me she likes me but just wants to be friends. The dread "F" word.

We'll see. If I'm right, I'm saying no. Me no friend you after you bite my cheek. But maybe I'm thinking too much. Check the comments for the skinny. Jeez, I don't need even need a good one. I'll take a bad romance.


Her Majesty's Plaything said...

"I don't need even need a good one. I'll take a bad romance."

There's a song lyric in there somewhere! Bonne chance mon ami.

advochasty said...


I think Lady Gaga beat me to the punch on the song lyric!

The date went well...I think. Crush Girl was definitely worried about getting involved with me given my committment to being there for my wife.

Who can blame her?

She also said I sometimes looked like her ex. Uh-oh...

So I've gone from being someone she couldn't keep her hands off of and was certain she had met in a former life to being a creepy dead ringer (only at times) for her ex.

But she at least claimed she wanted to see where our liason leads...

On the upside, after totally misunderstanding my reasonably clear text about accompanying me to RopeShare, (She thought I wanted her to tie me up with my hemp rope...hmmm...I guess she's not wrong there), she has agreed to go to rope bondage class with me.

She let me kiss and nuzzle her ear as we huddled in the cold waiting to cross the New Year Manhattan street, but did not reciprocate.

And although she let me walk her home, it was the dread double cheek peck when I dropped her off.

Ahh the joys of reading the tea leaves of kinky dating.

Happy New Year my friend! Happy New Year!!!

Her Majesty's Plaything said...

Happy New Year to you too my friend! All the best! :-)

Aarkey said...

I'm with ya on the "me no friend" line after that. There are certain places where you can't go back from and nibblin' each other is one of em.

Hope you're just over thinkin' it though, I suspect you've done that a few thousand times ;)

"Emoteri" - interesting...

advochasty said...

Aarkey -

I actually don't think I'm over analyzing. It's sort of bittersweet. She really likes me but wants to be #1 with the guy she likes and is rightfully worried that I can't put her there right now.

After I spouted at her all this "I'm emotionally sophisticated enough to handle you and my wife, oh baby baby" bullshit I figure I'll just leave the ball in her court and let her dommy side take it to the next level or not.

Can't force affairs of the heart.

"dooidd" as in "Oooo baby baby let's dooidd???"

Whizzer said...


Happy New Year!! And congratulations on the Florida Bar. Exam that is!! Nice to hear you celebrated with a cigar!

My, my aren't you moving right along with your new life. Good for you. But remember not to force anything. You learned that lesson in the life you left.

Whether it's the new lady in your life or one you haven't met yet, you're going to find the Holy Grail. Let if flow and it'll work out.

You've made difficult choices that have not been easy to stick with. It's so easy to stay with what is safe and comfortable. You chose the other path. What are the odds that it's the first semi-kinky lady you ran into who will fulfill those desires? Sit back and enjoy the ride. Enjoy the journey and the destination will take care of itself.

You took the choice that was not easy, but you have many supporters to see you along the way. Stay strong.



advochasty said...


Happy New Year!! Thanks for dropping by! Of course you are right! I think the more I don't try to force fit anything and just enjoy the ride, the better things are. I've staked too much to opt for a quick fix.