I Will Not Seek Nomination And If Nominated I Shall Not Run!

Oh sure. Who am I kidding? I'm incredibly touched and deeply grateful that Brigit at the lustful literate nominated "Client Nine And A Half" for the Very Inspiring Blogger Award. For some reason I can't seem to make the link to her work, but you can find her in my blog list. She is such a wonderful writer, courageous communicator, and all around fabulous on-line presence that I was literally floored (really, picking myself up now...) that she threw my battered hat into such an impressive ring of bloggers. This nomination comes with requirements and, OMG, rules! So here they are:

Rules:
1. Display the award logo on your blog.
2. Link back to the person who nominated you.
3. State 7 things about yourself.
4. Nominate 15 other bloggers for this award and link to them.
5. Notify those bloggers of the nomination and the award's requirements.

Jeez, I only get to say 7 things about myself? Oh well...here goes:

7 Things About Moi:
1. I sometimes verbigerate as a method of self-soothing. The words I use are incomprehensible.
2. I have an awful sweet tooth.
3. I sometimes worry that I'll never meet Mistress Right.
4. I sometimes worry that I will meet Mistress Right.
5. I try to be careful what I wish for.
6. I wish for only the best of things.
7. I eat the same thing practically everyday for breakfast; Bare Naked Fruit and Nut Granola and Ronnybrook Maple Vanilla Yogurt.

Actually, I'm a bit fatootsed that I can't figure out whether I do this upon nomination or upon actually receiving the award. Oh who cares. I get to nominate 15 amazing and wonderful bloggers so details be damned!

And The Nominations Are:

1. Aarkeybabble - My friend and fellow traveler, his blog is hilarious, sexy, personal, and truthful.
2. Her Majesty's Plaything - We joke that we were separated at birth or are brothers from a different mother.
3. Pieces of Margo - A no holds barred look at her life, Margo is raw, scathing, vulnerable, and true.
4. Troy Orleans - Sexy, down-to-earth, word rich, insights on the life and times of a fab pro-domme and true friend.
5. Femdom Resource - Every day, rain or shine, paltego gives us image and comment, upon wonderful image and comment.
6. Unspeakable Axe - Our very own kinky Charlie Rose, Axe not only has the best kink podcast in the world, the iconic Masocast, but he blogs about the scene, life, and true love with his wonderful wife Sade.
7. Sadist Next Door - My BFF Crimson writes equal parts dirty sexy fun, political critique, and insights on the sex industry. Not to be missed.
8. Freedom Through Discipline - Veronica is funny, in your face smart, and the coolest girl in the world.
9. Whether You Like It Or Not - Alex's menacingly erotic expansive intellect is only surpassed by her recent fetish for rampant exhibitionism as evidenced by scorchingly hot photo shoots. The ultimate subbie guy's crush girl.
10. Dumb Domme - Ms. DD has the most imaginatively humorous and touchingly romantic blog on the internet.
11. Thoughts of a Submissive Cuck Hubby - junior writes the best blog on the internet about the deeply intimate and erotically humiliating fetish of cuckolding.
12. The Edge of Vanilla - Tom Allen on real life chastity. Irreverent and wise.
13. Fetish Furniture Factory - Vanessa Chaland promotes great looking fetish furniture but also writes the most realistically erotic posts about cuckolding. She makes me want her every time I see her name. The best tease.
14. Mistress Wynter - Knee weakening lustful pictures and the most scathing rants from a dirty girl domme who makes my insides quiver like yellow jello.
15. Domme Chronicles - Ferns is the heart and soul of the on-line kink community. Blog, comments, FetLife. You name it she is there sharing her unique and wonderful perspective on this life of ours.

I'm sure I've left out many, but I'm amazed that I'm real time pals with nine of the fifteen wonderful writers. Who says we don't get out from behind our hard drives? Thanks again for nominating me Brigit! This was a blast.

Quest Fetish

I really don't know how I developed my love of being assigned tasks to complete by a nurturing but bossy, critical yet encouraging domme. Does it appeal to my need to be told what to do or be ordered around? Is it more about feeling as though I'm her trusted go fetch it guy, always at the ready? How did it become a sexual thing all on its own? I have no answers; only fun questions.

I get my own satisfaction out of either completing the task or struggling mightily to succeed yet falling short only to have her shake her head in disappointment. She-Who-Visits is expert at assigning me tasks which benefit her, quench my quest fetish, and carry a tease and denial twist to them. Most recently she visited her parents in the suburbs of NYC and asked me for a car service. I offered her mine and after making fun of me for perhaps not having enough money to care for her in such a style, accepted and graciously thanked me for my generousity. During the reservation and pick up process she'd email me and text me with instructions on insuring that the car and driver were present at appointed times and places. She ended with telling me how she'd have to upbraid me in person over the early Monday morning car to JFK which reeked of smoke and made her sick to her stomach. During her visit she came into the city with her family and texted me that she was so close, yet so far away. Even though I didn't get to see her, the whole thing was thrilling and made me feel that much closer to her.

Yesterday completely out of the blue I got a message on FetLife from a domme. The missive was titled "sub wanted". She said she was expert at having her needs satisfied and wondered how I sought satisfaction myself. I told her a little about my quest fetish to please my domme. I wondered this morning whether the message was a generic one sent to many, or would I actually hear back from her. Time will tell.

Finally, in a best-of-kind, I am tasked by the incredibly hot and deliciously intimidating Mistress Alex with scouting locations for a Grand Central Terminal boot blacking photo shoot. This wonderful assignment grew from an interaction she and I had on a chat thread on All Star Dommes. GCT is my favorite public space in the whole world, I have a thing for public play, and she has graciously allowed me to indulge in my quest fetish to my heart's content. As I scour the Terminal I am to send photos and chat to the boot blacking guys about whether they will be okay with Alex having her high sexy black boots shined to a luster while I'm receiving instruction on how to do it right.

Ah perhaps it is merely the desire to dream the impossible dream that calls me so often to quest the pleasure of gorgeously dommy women. Hey, how can I have Andy Williams singing the theme song from "Man of LaMancha"? This is my life, and I ain't gonna live forever.

Caregiving And Slavery

I've never really thought I was a slave. Didn't think I had it in me. I'm too independent, too opinionated, and too contrary just because. Sure I've had my share of fantasies over the years about being locked up in chastity and made to serve. It didn't include doing laundry, paying bills, cleaning the house, or making dinner after a long day at work. But recently I've begun to think that maybe I could be a slave to a domme. Probably not but maybe.

I am my wife's slave. I bathe her, dress her, undress her, cook for her, clean some (not my strong suit), and am learning to cook (big fun). I try to anticipate her needs and just do them without having to be told. I take pride in my work and want to protect her and care for her. I sometimes become resentful, but the negative feelings pass. My feelings of being put upon are far outweighed by my sense that I'm providing her with the best quality of life she can experience in this last leg of her life.

I've been reading "At Her Feet" by Tammy Jo Eckhart and Fox. They are in a long term M/s relationship. She's married and has a husband and Fox is her slave. While the book was mostly common sense and basic psyche 101, it was written from a decidedly kinky point of view by a femdom and her slave. I began to think whether I could do a real 24/7 dommy girl/slave boy thing. I guess I was intrigued by whether I could sustain this dynamic with a dominant woman who was realistic about the limits real life can put on two people. I do this some with She-Who-Visits but we do long distance, not up close and personal. Made me want to talk to her about her thoughts about our future.

Such a venture would involve a poly relationship as she is happily married. More than my doubts that I could be a slave, I have serious doubts I could responsibily commit to a poly relationship. Way to complicated. I can barely sustain a relationship with myself let alone two or more others. Plus, I'm a loner not a joiner.

But in these days of trailing luggage through airports jogging to keep up with the speedy wheelchair attendant who pushes my wife to our waiting car - home from a visit out West to see her parents; it's fun to think about. There's a free form beat to my life and maybe I'm just slave to the rhythm.

Sometimes It's Getting Too Dark To See

Icy cold dawn's early run, the gym, and coffee. Maybe she'll need me to get her to the bathroom before the gym, after, just out of the shower, a minute after I pull my underwear on. Mornings are bad for her. She can hardly move. I sit her up as best I can, leveraging my body so the legs take the brunt of the lifting. On her feet she'll falter and I'll hug her and massage her lower back and hips where all the weight and pressure are because of her dead and dying muscles. She still forces herself to walk with her red metal four wheeled stand up helper. I brace her arm with my hand. She stutter steps to the edge of the bathroom and parks the walker. I pull up the commode toilet seat that is way too small for a normal person to enthrone upon. She wobble gaits until she's in front and I reach around, pull down her underwear and lower her onto the seat. I hand her toilet paper. Soon I'll be doing the wiping.

And that's the first ten minutes of her morning. I get her back to bed, test her blood sugar as she's also cursed with Type 1 diabetes since she was a little girl. I fetch coffee, her iPad, her breakfast, her phones. Sometimes I give her a shower. All before I leave for my crazy day. Little by little, day by day, there is no improvement. Only destruction. So gradual, but the sign posts are unmistakeable. She's going slowly and torturously.

But her courage and humor profoundly inspire. Her newfound acceptance of me is stunning. We lunched with Aarkey and Crimson in Florida. Those two had never met and Crimson had never met my wife. She and Crimson chatted away about burlesque. My wife liked them both. Sushi in South Florida where I had set up a second life to be single in and here I was, falling in love with my wife all over again. Crimson texted me later that she saw why I fell for my wife - because she's awesome.

And though it's sometimes too dark to see, our renewed connection will see us through to the entrance of that door.