Amends

I've been a client for such a long time with enough different dommes that I would be well and truly fulla shit if I said I've been perfect. I've become friends with a few prodommes in the past couple of years and more than ever I've realized that I've often been a pretty jerky client. The Maxville board, with all its crazy problems, has been great for me to see how poor behavior on the part of sub-guys affects dommes in such an unwarranted, negative way.

I was never much for the protocol thing in my AA 12 Step program when I went, but I carry the Steps with me in my wallet. I remain sober and have been for over twenty-five years, but haven't been to a meeting in a long, long time. Just haven't wanted or needed it. But remembering all the times I was a jerk to a prodomme made me think of the "amends" steps - mostly Step 8.

Step 8 reads, "Made a list of all persons we harmed and became willing to make amends to them all."

Now, I'm not namin' names. Just a list of the crap I pulled which I'm sorry about. This is pretty lame but it'll have to do.

• I called and wasted your time.
• I called repeatedly and certainly qualified as a "wanker".
• I made appointments that I didn't keep.
• I wrote waaaay too many emails.
• I was overly dramatic. (Still am ...)
• My lists were way too long and controlling.
• I begged and whined and pleaded and when you finally gave me exactly what I'd been simpering for I didn't have the balls to go through with it.
• I broke my chastity vow without permission.
• I asked to be your friend before I ever even met you.

There ... told ya! I'm a jerk!! ... But I was never boring.