Thursday, July 3, 2008

I've Got A Secret.

Secrets ... everybody has 'em. Some are bigger than others. Some are innocent and some are just downright evil. There are secrets that are just piddly little nothings and there are secrets so powerful they affect your life in on-going dramatic ways.

My life as a client of prodommes has been a pretty secret affair. My shrink and the prodommes I've seen know. The vanilla women I've had long term relationships have known I've seen prodommes but I've kept from them that I sneak off to the dungeon during my relationship with them. I've always done this. Thus, I've always had a secret.

Without going all Freudian on your ass, this kind of sexual secret has been a powerful force in my life. I have lots of the personality traits of an incest survivor, though I never actually did it with Mommy Dearest. So I've spent lots of time in therapy talking about the power of this supercharged sexual secret. For me, secret sex is the hottest, dirtiest most erotically exciting kind of sex imaginable. While I can't say I've never ever had intercourse with a woman who has called herself a prodomme, the best sex I've ever had has been secret, non-intercourse nasties with highly reputable, ethical, beautiful, wonderful prodommes.

So, I've got a secret. A very powerful secret. A marriage ruining secret. A career damaging secret. Is it a hot healthy secret to be indulged and enjoyed? Is it a crippling secret to be dissected and exposed? Or does it lie somewhere in between because it simply is what it is? And how do I shed a little light on the subject without being a danger to myself and others in the process?

Yadda, yadda, yadda. Sometimes if you can safely share a secret it can lose its power. I loved reading the secrets of others this morning. It was a relief.


Aarkey said...

Wow, that secrets link is hard core... I've always found those kinds of things to be quite intense. Too intense for me to read over time, though they do have a definite rubbernecking at the wreck appeal to them.

Either way, it's great to see you blogging. I'm curious how it'll play out for you. :)

I do definitely understand the cloak and dagger appeal. Even w/o the need to hide visiting pros in the scene, I have still found that I get a bit of a rush from the Oooooh, I'm being naughty feelings that arise by planning and going for a session. It's similar to wearing a pair of panties under your slacks. Though sometimes with more bruising ;)

advochasty said...

Thanks for the comment. I think it is fitting that you are my first!

I sometimes wonder if my effort at being more out and integrated with my kink will ruin the "Mission Impossible" buzz of a clandestine session.

But there is really nothing like playing with someone you feel a connection to. Thanks again for dropping by. I'm interested to see where this blogging thing all goes as well. A new adventure!!