Friday, March 13, 2009

I Am Waiting By Your Door

On the eastern balcony of GCT, as she sporadically feeds me her tuna tartar, she tells me about her medical problem. The one she's struggled with ever since I've known her. The cruel, painful, cosmic joke that has haunted her mercilessly. She's come to the end of her fight, she says. Though not life threatening, she talks of the more radical, surgical solution.

I take her hand and ask her to please tell me these things because I'm her friend. Tears roll down my cheeks. Her eyes tear too. She thanks me.

Now I know. She gave me her essence.

6 comments:

Maitresse S said...

I am so so sorry to hear this. I hope she is ok and makes it through.

MS

advochasty said...

I hope she'll be ok too. I knew it was something in her life, but I didn't know what. It's better to know.

She's very strong and brave. Her husband loves her.

I do too.

Her Majesty's Plaything said...

Hi Advo:

That was beautifully written. It sounds like you and She have taken your relationship to another more intimate level. It's always better to know.

Best

hmp

advochasty said...

HMP,

Not knowing just had me tying myself up in intricate little knots. And not the good kind.

She's stoic and proud. Like all of us, sometimes she's not completely hooked in to her emotional forces. If I know, I can try and be there for her, to the extent she'll allow - which was alot.

Thanks, man, for dropping by!!

Aarkey said...

Heavy and real. And beautiful.

advochasty said...

Thanks Aarkey. It was like an emotional light bulb suddenly lit. As one friend said, it's not the kind of thing you necessarily share over the phone or by email. Given our distance and all her distractions I was glad she felt close enough to tell me.