My friend Ms. Mahwah Kiss claimed the other day that the reason I have been in so much pain over the sale of my coop and separation from my wife is due to my kinky proclivity to serve a dominant woman. Ms. Kiss maintains that because I am compelled to serve, my inability to sustain alpha-provider status is causing all manner of heartache. The lovely Ms. Mahwah believes she knows this about me because one afternoon when we met for coffee, I insisted on having her sit while I served her coffee and a snack.
I declared, "See, you get a servant when you get involved with the likes of me."
"Hmmm," she mused, "Well I like that!"
Anyway, her whole take on my emotional state these days got me thinking that maybe she was onto something. Even though I do not have a kinky relationship with my wife, there are developed aspects of my bdsm personality in my bond to her. I can recognize my hurt pride for now in not being able to continue to provide as just that - hurt pride. But I have to admit that the depth of my sorrow might be related to a need to serve. At least the thought helps me to manage the ordeal and feel some honor that my submissive side is so actively engaged.
Which brings me to my next point. Since when is submission all about the lay down? Recently, a dominant woman friend confided that she had bottomed a bit and that she loved it because she got to lay back and do nothing. She got to just bliss out in a pleasurable release from any responsibility. Now I suppose there are aspects of sub-space which match up with this description. Certainly, the dominant is often the planner, the decider, and the actor. But I gotta say that for me, submission is very engaged and interactive. I figure out how best to compliment my domme's style, accomodate her preferences and meet her needs. For me, this is the very heart of active submission.
Indeed, there are lots of times when I play with She and she's doing nothing and I'm doing everything. Maybe if I mess up I get punished. But I'm all about being an a vigorous, dynamic bottom. Unless I'm wrapped in Saran wrap...
Come to think of it, just tie me up now and I'll lay here and moan.
Prostate - Milking vs Orgasm
10 months ago