Thursday, October 1, 2009

Harsh My Mellow

I rented the sexy little Audi TT convertible She said she'd love to try. Wanted to see how it felt to have her stiletto hit the pavement from the hot little car, she said. I stuffed a substantial duffle bag full of goodies for her. I pack muled her internet shopping spree. I hauled her skirts, her blouses, and her 15 pounds of protein shakes. I made two, count them two, little outfits to serve her in. Collars and cuffs cut from shirts that I had especially tailored to fit bow ties. Matching cuff links or woven cuff buttons, of course. I even had the tailor sew in velcro so the cuffs would stay. I bought a cock cane. I bought two lycra masks with the eyes and the mouth cut out. I bought an adjustable blindfold with faux fur on the eyes.

I bought eye care products for her friend. I bought She and her friend StriVectin Anti Oxident face cream. I brought my very own soft green nylon rope from RopeShare to give to She to tie up Mr. She. My gift to them as they'd been going through a rough patch and, at least in part from my urging, She had made a significant effort to reconnect. He loves to be tied up. I figure we're a three legged stool. One leg decays and it's bye, bye bench.

I even made her a mix tape with all the songs from all the posts I've ever written here on "Client Nine" about her.

And you know what? You can see it coming, can't you? She's not coming. It can't be helped. It's not her fault. Immigration and work permit hassles on her island paradise. Poor advice from lawyers she believed when they told her she could leave and come back no problem. I can't be mad at her. But it was completely last minute.

I'm just such a bummed out pervert. Day 31 and no She. No chance of She until November 5th. She asked me to go until then. Which would be 66 days. My personal best is 82. I can't even get into the thought. I just really wanted to spend the weekend with her.

Well...okay. At least tonight I won't jerk it out.


Her Majesty's Plaything said...

Hi Advo:

I am so sorry to hear that my friend. I can only imagine how disappointed you must be. I would be going nuts. Still the fact that She wants you to remain chaste until Nov. 5th and that She already has the day picked out is a good sign. I am glad to hear that her absence is to due to circumstances beyond her control. Life can be terribly complicated. It can be tough to roll with the punches sometimes.

Whizzer said...


Life sucks and they you die. Or in your case, it's even worse as it just drags your torture out longer and longer. But wait. We're supposed to like torture, but not this kind. I think it was kind of Her to hold you to a higher standard and expect you to await Her presence before your torment comes to an end. Hey, comparred to 82 days, 66 sounds like a walk in the park.

"Kill all the lawyers." Wait, that's not a good idea either.

All the best.


Subdued said...

After such an impressive amount of preparation, sorry to hear this.

advochasty said...

HMP, Whizzer, and Subdued;

Thank you for condolences and kind thoughts. In the bittersweetness of it all I know she's as upset as I am. I've been emailing her pictures of the room as she asked to see the surroundings of the weekend we almost had.

I can tell it is totally breaking her heart.

Wait 'till I send the shot of the TT. Champagne paint job with tan "baseball glove" upolstery! Everyone is saying, "Nice car, dude."

Oh well, the upside is I'm off to Calle Ocho to buy cigars, a vice She would never allow. Maybe a fishing trip to Islamorda. Maybe some more business schmooze.

Hey, if I do this New York/Miami thing, She won't always be here!

You guys are the BEST!!!


Maitresse S said...

I know EXACTLY what that feels like. The disappoint can be really crushing. Even though its not anyones fault, I know its hard to not let it affect you.

Perhaps you'll see her one day soon.


advochasty said...



There's actually a part of it that was really sweet. She missed seeing me as much as I missed seeing her. It's not a fun way to know how much she cares, but that was a silver lining.

Plus, now I get sooooo much hotter when I get horny. 33 days and counting.

Alisa said...

I'm a bad person -- my first thought was "you're on a US passport, why not book a flight to her island and stay for the weekend?" Some days I forget that being a US or EU passport holder doesn't fix all the world's problems.