Wednesday, August 13, 2008

Waiting

She's coming to visit. The one I've fallen in love with. The one who changed my life entirely - made it richer and infinitely more complex. She'll be here for a week. She's staying in a hotel near my office. I'll bring her coffee in the morning and we'll have dinners together at night. She'll have been in the dungeon at work and I'll get to ask, "How was your day, honey?" She'll call me ferret face in such a loving way that my heart will burst with joy. I'm pretty sure she'll rifle through my wallet and steal my Starbucks card. She'll laugh at my jokes and call me her "mealticket" in a voice that is the sexiest melange of honeyed gravel ever heard.

I'm planning to give her a special gift. I've conspired with a friend of hers. Trust her to have found and charmed the nicest jeweler in the Diamond District. She knows I'm up to something. Lord knows I couldn't negotiate a deal on decoder ring from a Crackerjack box on 47th Street and not get taken without serious help.

I just wanna be here always for her to come back to so she still has a home here. A home in my heart. And just maybe ... if I offer - I have this little plea in suplication planned see - and if ... if she says yes ...

Maybe I'll find peace and be able to let go and stop tryin' so hard to replace her. And be happy that I have her in my life. And be open to new people, new friends and a real kink life now.

Because the night belongs to lovers ... the night .. belongs to love ...

2 comments:

Maitresse S said...

Thats really beautiful.

I can relate to the way you feel. My special boy is married and I would love it if we could actually be together legitimately. But we can't.

It is a reality I have come to accept and even comfortable with. But sometimes when you realize that after spending a nice few hours with that person knowing they have to leave or go home to someone else...there is a special pain that accompanies that.

I hope she says yes. Please let me know how it goes. Because the night DOES belong to lovers...even covert and complicated ones. I would be very happy for you if she and you end up together somehow :)

MS

advochasty said...

Awww ... you are too sweet. Of course I'll let you know. Our thing is indeed covert and complex. More covert and complex on my side than hers. I've accepted she'll really never make me "hers" alone. I've accepted sharing ... I think! :)